Dispute Resolution, Mediation & Forced Empathy

Sometimes you are faced with a seemingly impossible request, posed to you by an employer, client or family member. Forced empathy, (coined by Chris Voss), is a technique that can take the pressure off of you and place it back on the party making the request. It also allows you to avoid having to say, “no” and the other person thinking you are just a “disagreeable” person. For example, an employer might ask you to complete a task that would take twice the time you have available for said task. Instead of saying, “that’s impossible” or “I can’t possibly do that,” you can ask, “what do you think the best approach would be to achieve this goal within the time-frame we have available to us?” If you ask this question respectfully and with the goal of being open to suggestions, you have invited the person making the request, to see things from your perspective and they just might understand the request is not reasonable. On the other hand, you may discover a new way to do things more efficiently. If the person responds with, “that’s your problem,” then you have a better understanding of the person you are dealing with and you might have some tough decisions to make; but, at least you will be making informed decisions, rather than decisions based on an emotional reaction. Good luck with your negotiations and have a fantastic week!