The holidays often involve gatherings with friends and family. Although these gatherings should be joyful, sometimes such gatherings erupt into topics that result in hurt feelings. If you know a family member, friend, partner or co-worker that often triggers such hurt feelings in you, try a “self-audit.” A self-audit can be done by writing-out what you anticipate the other person might say and write down ways you might handle the situation, emotionally and verbally. If this person is someone you trust, have a long-term relationship with and care for, consider talking to them about how you feel when you enter into these conversations, in advance of seeing them. (Of course, always using “I” statements: “I feel… when I talk about… and I wish I knew how to respond better. Do you have any suggestions on how I can understand the [topic of discussion], so I can respond more appropriately?”) A self-audit can be time consuming and can be an emotional exercise to some degree. However, the advance work you do will make those “holiday interactions” go more smoothly. Give it a try. Enjoy this holiday season. Stay safe and have a fantastic week!
We have helped many family members resolve difficult issues that are often too “raw” to address without the assistance of an independent third party. If you would like the assistance of a mediator for your family conflicts, please contact our office to see how we can help you: (619) 990-7019. All conversations are confidential.
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