SHARING A HOME DURING DIVORCE

Minimize Your Communication

Most couples who are divorced and living together often argue, making their forced cohabitation far from comfortable. So, if you're still living under the same roof, keep your interactions to a minimum! Even if your communication is more or less friendly, keep in mind that it's essential to see each other less often. Why's that, you ask? The thing is, interacting with your ex may keep you from healing and moving on. Plus, staying apart can make living together during divorce proceedings less toxic.

Use email or social media to discuss arrangements and make appointments. Firstly, you won't have to go through shouting and screaming again and again. And secondly, you'll have written evidence of the things you agreed upon, so if your ex-partner attempts to duck responsibility, you can simply screenshot the message as proof.

On the other hand, if you're craving a bit of chatter but your partner doesn't want to talk, it's probably better to stop trying. After all, the relationship is over, and there's nothing else to discuss besides your shared responsibilities.

Avoid Meeting in Shared Living Spaces

Avoiding each other might do more good than bad in the long run, so don't be afraid to set boundaries if you feel that you can't tolerate interactions with your ex-spouse anymore. Making a schedule for sharing common spaces is a good decision when partners are forced to live in the same house during a painful divorce. If the relationship with your ex is unbearable, try dividing the house. It means that you will no longer be in the same place at the same time.

Decide when each of you will be in the kitchen, the living room, and other shared spaces, and don't change these living arrangements once you've set them.

Stay at Home Less Often

Staying out of your ex-partner's way may be a great solution no matter what other people think about it. However, even if you've managed to make your cohabitation after divorce quite tolerable, you might still be losing energy due to enormous stress. Remember that your well-being is the most important thing, so make it a priority. Do your best to redirect your attention to your hobbies and stay at home as little as possible.

First off, being around less will be a welcome distraction from the hardships you're going through at the moment. Secondly, it will refill your inner tank of emotions and help you fight depression. Go to a dance class or the gym, attend a meditation workshop, or talk to your close friends over a cup of coffee. The critical thing is to get yourself out of the house if it feels like a dreary space.

Please note that you shouldn't keep silent if your partner poses a threat to your well-being or life. Instead, get local support or legal advice. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline if your partner has physically injured you or abused you emotionally.

Don't Bring Your New Partner to the House

Are you living in the same house during a divorce but involved with someone else? Avoid bringing this person to your current residence before you or your ex-partner moves out. It will be much safer to keep your new romantic relationship a secret until you get all the papers ready. Otherwise, you'll put both yourself and your new boyfriend or girlfriend at risk of a serious conflict with your ex, which could be detrimental to your new relationship. You should be twice as careful if you have kids, as some information could get back to them and hurt their feelings.

A LIST OF TIPS AVAILABLE IN THE ARTICLE ARE AS FOLLOWS:

• Tip 1. Avoid Conflicts as Much as Possible

• Tip 2. Don't Get Angry in Response

• Tip 3. Stop Overreacting

• Tip 4. Spend Less Time Together

• Tip 5. Minimize Your Communication

• Tip 6. Avoid Meeting in Shared Living Spaces

• Tip 7. Stay at Home Less Often

• Tip 8. Don't Bring Your New Partner to the House

• Tip 9. Have a Small Talk with Your Children

• Tip 10. Share Parenting Responsibilities and Consider Shared Residential Parenting

• Tip 11. Treat Financial Arrangements Like Business Partners

• Tip 12. Interact in a Respectful Manner

• Tip 13. Understand the Existing Differences

• Tip 14. Take Care of Your Mental Health

• Tip 15. Practice Mindful Compassion

****This information is from an article, 15 Survival Tips For Living Together During Divorce by Natalie Maximets, updated December of 2021; which, can be found at https://www.onlinedivorce.com/blog/15-survival-tips-for-living-together-during-divorce/#mainTitle.